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knitty know how...

my quest for a large sized pebble vest is on going ...

two weeks ago i did the maths, i checked it thrice

(you have told us that before Tif)

i cast on with a hope and a prayer to the knitty gods

and it would appear i was rewarded for my good knitty intentions

for a large sized pebble vest grew on my knitting pins

till eventually it came off my knitting pins

and oh glorious day of days

it fit ....

until that is, i blocked it

then oh glorious day of days

turned into an oh pants day of days

of course there will be many who upon reading this

will shake their heads with an all knowing sort of a shake

for only a rookie would make such a knitty faux pas.

thus it was back to the drawing board for me and my pebble vest ways.

i took into consideration my loosey goosey knitty ways
i took into consideration i wished to make a higher neckline

i took into consideration how much soft donegal expands when wet

i took into consideration my novice blocking ways and seeked advice
and
i took into consideration this was a learning experience,
thus making me wiser for the next time
(however before all this consideration, i confess i did hang my head
and weep a tad upon discovering my pebble vest
was all baggy and saggy upon my bod)

so i pulled up my knitty knee socks once again,
and armed with my 'learnt mistakes', cast on yet again
with even bigger hopes and bigger prayers.
as much as i loved the soft donegal in the slubby cream
i knew i could not, would not be able to make another
in the same colour without getting sidetracked
so i picked a super duper grolly green to keep my interest high.

a week on and many many hours,
attempt number two is now blocked and lying out to dry.

and this time...
this time, i just know my high hopes will not be in vain
and if this is the case, if it truly is a small miracle
then next week i will share what i did
(with kind permission from the original designer)
to make an itty bitty pebble vest into a bigger one for grown up folks.

The Bonnie Prince in France

This year the image of the Bonnie Prince was chosen to lead the Scottish Chapter at the annual Chartres Pilgrimage. If you have never heard of the Chartres Pilgrimage, click on the link and see what it's all about.

The Scottish Chapter also took the Bonnie Prince as its name! On returning from the pilgrimage, the organiser of the Scottish Chapter sent an email to relate the Bonnie Prince's success:

"Thank you so much for letting us carry Bonnie Prince Jesus for our banner. He was very much loved by the pilgrims at Chartres especially the French, so much so that he was chosen to lead the procession into Chartres Cathedral for the final Mass!

We are already planning to return next year. I hope that we will be able to have the Bonnie Prince lead us again..."

The Scottish Chapter members preparing to depart Edinburgh airport en route to Paris. The Chapter was fortunate to have two of the Dominican sisters from Elgin as part of its number.

Scottish pilgrims stand with the Bonnie Prince out side the cathedral of Notre Dame de Paris, where the pilgrimage begins.

The Scottish Chapter: Bonnie Prince Jesus!

Walking on the Chartres Pilgrimage.

Processing out of Chartres Cathedral after the final Mass at the end of the pilgrimage. As the email said, The Bonnie Prince was honoured by leading the procession into the Cathedral, and thus is the last out at the end.

Posing for photos with the Bonnie Prince.

Thank you Team Scotland for taking the Bonnie Prince on the Chartres Pilgrimage!

Anyone in Scotland who might be interested to joining the Scottish Chapter on next year's Chartres Pilgrimage can keep an eye on the Chartres UK blog where all the information will be posted.

Freedom, Joy, Growth

"The basis of your life is absolute freedom, the goal is joy, and the result of that perfect combination is motion forward, or growth. Your goal is to find objects of attention that let your cork raise." (Abraham-Hicks)

I've been trying to find my way back here, because once upon a time I really enjoyed writing and I still enjoy looking back on old posts about my kids. Lately my life has been something stuck between denial and a Smashing Pumpkins compilation (melancholy and the infinite sadness, people).

Joe once said that blogs are the only thing faker than Facebook. And I have to say, I agree with him. I've tried to walk the line of truth here as much as possible, but there are some things that are just, well, personal. So the truth, I am six months pregnant and my husband and I are separating. Not like trial separating to see how it feels. But we made a plan to divorce one another and that includes us staying married for a little while so that I can have amazing things like health insurance when I deliver our fourth child this fall.

The divorce is collaborative which is legalese for saying that we worked with a mediator to come up with a mutual agreement that is kind and required a ton of patience and amicability so that our kids are protected and know that they are loved. We will still be seen together in public and in pictures, because we are still a family. I hope that we are proof that sometimes people love each other more when the arrangement is slightly different. I know that we will be proof that our love for our children is paramount to all other things. And that is all I will disclose about my marriage, because some day my children will be literate and they don't need their personal bizness up on the internets.

Someone once made a comment here about our house, calling it the Barbie Dream House. Something that was part judgement mixed with a splash of jealousy and a hint of bitterness. Comments like that are the hard part about sharing parts of your life; sometimes people don't realize they are hurting you. Or worse, they know exactly that they are hurting you and they spit that shit out anyway.

So the Barbie Dream House is on the market, and ironically it's my Barbie Nightmare House, not because there is anything wrong with the house itself. No, the house itself is perfect. It is an amazing, gorgeous, from a magazine house that was intended to be the very start of forever. However, I cannot afford to keep it alone and until it sells I am stuck living inside of it with no option to purchase another home for me and my children. And let's be honest, at 6 months pregnant I am a ticking time bomb.

I found another house, exactly perfect, but the sellers won't take a contingency until the house has been on the market for a longer period of time, so I am waiting and praying no one else loves this house as much as I do. If you know me, you know I suck at waiting.

I wish that the whole thing was cut and dry, but a move comes with all sorts of complications due to Ryan's autism diagnosis. Without getting into lots of boring details and what-ifs, if-thens, if I leave the county I lose Ryan's bussing and if I leave the school district I lose his whole IEP. So, that's stressful not because it can't be solved, but because the solution is completely out of my hands for the time being.

Clearly, a lot of crazy things have been happening and I've been trying to sort it all out. It's left me with a lot of time to think about why. Note, not why me? But actually WHY. What am I supposed to be taking from all of this? Dear Universe, what is it that you are trying to teach me? And I think the answer is two things:

1. Let go. Of control, the need to feel like you are in control, and the idea that life is some picture in your head that you can enact. It is not perfect. It is messy. There are hiccups. (But you survive them.)

2. Some thoughts are better kept to yourself. I am a chronic over sharer and a chronic say exactly what you thinker. I need a filter and an internal edit button in order to preserve relationships with people I love and to protect myself from unnecessary harm.

So, I am learning. I am welcoming the lessons. I am growing.